Seriously, Don't Watch the Oscars

Are you going to watch the Academy Awards this Sunday? Please don't. You'll only drive yourself crazy. If you love Donald Trump, you'll be outraged at all of the idiotic, self-important protests. If you hate Donald Trump you'll be exasperated that the idiots in Hollywood somehow managed to find the most annoying and counter-productive ways to oppose the Orange Menace. It's a lose-lose proposition.

Plus, La La Land is going to win everything. All the statistical models show that it has a 95.3 percent chance. So it's a lock. Those things are never wrong.

Though, in all seriousness, La La Land really is going to win everything. This is the least suspenseful Oscar night since 1997.

So do yourself a favor: Instead of sitting through the Oscar telecast, watch a movie!

I know, it's a crazy idea.