Fizzy Math

What's the sound a bottle of soda makes when opened? If you're the government in Berkeley or Philadelphia, it's not ssfzzzt but cha-ching. These two towns—bedrocks of meddlesome nanny-state liberalism—now collect steep taxes on soft drinks and other sweetened beverages. The Philly soda-tariff took effect just this year. The early returns there suggest a financial pleasure for the city: The levy raised some $5.7 million in its first month, according to the mayor's office.

But don't count on the carbonated goose staying in the egg-laying business. According to the Philadelphia Inquirer, supermarkets and distributors have reported a 30 to 50 percent drop in beverage sales. Another estimate, from local blog Billy Penn, was that soft drink consumption dropped by 40 percent in January. That may be good for the fight against avoirdupois in the City of Brotherly Love, but it means lean times for pop producers—Pepsi has announced it will be cutting up to 100 jobs in Philadelphia.

The issue has more of a local flavor in Seattle. Already presiding over a municipal minimum wage heading for $15 an hour, the city's mayor is hoping to fetch $16 million with a soda tax of his own. The Scrapbook couldn't help but notice an irony: Hipster-friendly Seattle is home to the Jones Soda Co., whose Americana labeling and offerings such as Bacon and "Fufu Berry" make it a candidate for official sponsor of the modish millennial.

Jones, which makes its drinks with foodie-friendly cane sugar, announced it opposed the "misguided" tax. "[E]ducation around proper nutritional guidelines is the best way to combat the obesity epidemic," the company said in a statement. "Soda, like fast food, chocolate, and many common snacks, should only be consumed in moderation."

It's downright sad to hear a brand defined by a yawping, counter-culture exuberance brought so low as to have to issue bloodless corporate-speak about "proper nutritional guidelines." But what good is it to be cool when the food police and their humorless deputies are on the prowl? To paraphrase Pastor Niemöller: First they came for the Coca-Cola Company .  .  .